It is official…
it is midnight… 12:00 AM July 1, 2012 and my time with FC Energy and Voronezh
is finished. I am scheduled to be on the first flight out of here in 6 hours to
fly to Moscow where I will have a long wait until my next flight at 2:00 PM to fly
to Kiev, Ukraine. I again have a wait,
which I will fill by watching the Euro Final, which happens to be in Kiev! Then
I will again board one last flight to Budapest, Hungary where I will start
another journey. This journey will be
very different though… in fact, it will almost be the exact opposite of what I
am leaving now. I am meeting up with my buddy in Budapest and we will make our
way across Europe to London in time to watch the Canadian and Cameroon national
teams in their Olympic battles! In short…I am beyond excited!
These last few days have been chalked full of mixed emotions… it is hard to even try to explain how I feel. For starters, as you
can tell, I am very, VERY excited to be moving onto a new chapter and new
journey. But, I feel sad leaving Russia and the friends that I have made. If I
just had those two emotions, it would be easy to handle, but the last few days
here have been anything but easy. Let me try to explain….
As many of you know we lost our last game against Klubanochka.
It was our head coaches 65th birthday and the most important game of
the season for us because it was out last chance to hold onto 2nd
place and thus a bid into the Champions League. Unfortunately, the football
God’s did not want to help us out. In the first half of the previous game
against Rossiyanka I went to block a ball and the next thing I knew I was on
the ground with our captain, Nastya, asking “Normal?? Doctor?? Doctor??” To
which I responded (in English) “Give me a second”, which she took as “No, I
don’t need a doctor.” So, she said “Da Vy, da vy” which means, “Let’s go, lets
go”. And I, not thinking clearly and as usual, stubbornly, continued to play.
This was a stupid decision. Needless to say, it turned out that I suffered a
concussion and therefore I was not allowed to play in our last match. To top it
off, the headache got pretty bad and I wasn’t even able to attend the last
match and instead I had to lay in my room anxiously awaiting (sleeping) the team to
come back.
So… instead of being able to either bring home a victory or
fight a losing battle I was forced to stay home and wait for the team’s return.
Which turned out to be a sad surprise when the bus pulled up and I heard
nothing but footsteps and doors to my teammate’s rooms close. We lost 1-0. They
scored in the first 3 minutes and we were unable to get that goal back…unable
to get the season back. And, those two events (getting a concussion, and the
loss) basically put a damper on the end of the time here with FC Energy.
The next days after the game were no fun. As I was still
recovering and trying to get my headache to go away whilst also getting
everything ready for a move back across the world, there was little time to say
goodbye. Pack, sleep, eat, sleep, talk to the director and president, sleep,
pack, unpack, sleep, repack, go to the bank, sleep, finally eat… it was crazy
busy and very stressful. BUT, everything (for the most part) got sorted out and
here I am… contract officially finished and I have nothing to think about except
getting to Budapest.
OOPS… dozed off… I had to sleep and couldn’t finish the
blog…
SURPRISE!!! Change of venue…
Now I am sitting in the Moscow airport waiting for my flight
to Kiev. With each step away from Voronezh I feel a little less stressed and a little
bit freer. I have truly never appreciated freedom like this before. I don’t have to workout, I don’t have to eat at this time, I don’t have
to stay at the base, I don’t have to
eat only this food… I AM FREE!!!! My
entire life has been conducted within the parameters of the structured routine
of the student-athlete… no questions asked and no regrets about it. I gave up
so many things that I wanted to do because I had something for school and
probably something else for soccer… and here I am for the first time in my life
without an exact place to go to next except to relax and recover from 4 months
of the most difficult thing I have ever been through. Don't get me wrong, I was more than happy to make the sacrifices I have and will continue to make for soccer and for school, but this period of rest is something I have never experienced before, and I intend to enjoy it.
Like I was saying in the beginning… about the mixture of
emotions… now sitting here in the airport, feeling the full extent of my
freedom and getting excited about traveling and seeing my buddy, it is hard to
feel any sadness about leaving. In all of the craziness I didn’t get to say
goodbye to many people whom I wanted to give a proper goodbye to. Many of the
girls from Russia took off as quickly as possible, the Cameroons left to meet
up with their national team to prepare for the Olympics, our coaches were busy
getting all of our documents ready and in the end I felt a very abrupt ending
with the people I have spent the last 4 months of my life with… all except 3.
Whom I made sure to give proper goodbyes to… Ximel, Tanya and Eurina.
Last night I was able to say goodbye to Tanya and Eurina
before heading to bed, a couple long hugs and kisses on the cheeks and holding
back some tears. Then this morning at 4:30 Ximel and I parted ways at the tiny
Voronezh airport… and that was that.
I cant believe it was just 4 months ago that I was sitting
in the Dulles airport cheersing you with a beer and saying goodbye, and here I
am sitting on the floor of the Moscow airport cheersing you with a dixie cup of
coffee from a vending machine to say goodbye to Russia. What a journey it has
been. Even though I say, JUST 4 months ago, I really cant say it went by quickly. That seems like a hell of a long time ago...
I just reread this blog and I think it seems scattered and
probably a bit shallow or emotionless… but the truth is that there are actually
too many emotions to try to process in writing. I feel happy to be moving
forward, sad to be leaving, confused because of the concussion, stressed
because of the abrupt ending, relieved I am finally done and so many other
things all in one. All I can say is that here I am… finished with my first professional
football experience. It wasnt everything I imagined, but it was the experience of
a lifetime. I hope I wont have
to go through anything like I did here again. I am proud beyond words for the
strength I found in myself to get through it and I believe I am stronger for
it. But I am so happy that this period of ferment is finally over and I can
move forward to hopefully apply the lessons I have learned to my life and my
future.
I will continue to blog if you continue to read and share in
my travel experience. I am in the process of making another video for all of
you to see… but here is the first part I have put together... it is a compilation of my experiences in
Russia. Let me know your thoughts!!
If you would like to see more pictures you can look on my facebook to see
For the last time….
Nastarovia (I wish you good health)
Speciba balshoy (thank you very much/for everything)
Das vi danya, (formal goodbye)
Paka, (informal goodbye)
Da vy!!!!! (let’s go!!!!)
Cheers!!!
Danielle
and just for good measures…
Zaneela J
Phenomenal, I know what you'll be doing after soccer! Thanks for sharing this experience with all of us who love and miss you SOOOOO much. Can't wait to read the book and see the real story behind the stories!
ReplyDeleteDanielle, you are a very talented woman! I have very much enjoyed reading your blogs, and I hope that you continue to write because you are a natural. Great video too, well done! You inspire me! Happy travels and enjoy being FREE!
ReplyDelete-Tracey